Practicing being human

Wishing you an exciting and spirited new year

My work as a trend forecaster involves looking at macro and micro shifts, the big picture and the detail. One such detail is colour. Pantone, a global company best known for its colour matching system, selects a colour each year that ‘captures the zeitgeist and expresses a global mood and attitude’. You could argue that it’s a questionable idea that a single, distinct hue should reflect a collective desire, but let’s go with it.

Pantone’s colour of the year 2025 is called Mocha Mousse and I hate it. The shade is not too dark, not too white, not too saturated, not too warm, not too anything… It reminds me of Kim Kardashian’s shapewear brand Skims. It’s the kind of shade you get when you mix all the colours in your paintbox. As you can tell I’m not a fan. But what troubles me more is the idea that, according to its creators, a desire for comfort and indulgence is the most relevant global sentiment.

We are living in turbulent times, absolutely. But is cocooning and escapism the only approach? Do we really want to slip into a state of sedated, mellow escapism, avoiding all discomfort? Are we so battered by our everyday existence that we cannot handle any more friction?

We’re sold all these ‘solutions’ that shelter us from the overwhelming outside world under the banner of self-care. It’s rough out there, so make sure you look after yourself with the latest supplement, beauty product or gadget. Just focus on your internal state, your home, yourself. There are many things you can’t control, but you can buy a cosy (mocha-coloured) blanket and indulge in a chocolaty treat. Or calm your anxiety with a cuddly toy as exemplified by the Jellycat craze. The hyped soft toys now reach prices up to £200 on the secondary market.

“Siri, switch the lights to extra cosy”

Welcome to the ‘sensory environment of unrelenting harmoniousness’ as Kyle Chayka put it in one of his recent essays exploring the cosy tech trend. He examines how the promise of tech-enabled self-soothing makes people even more isolated and focus inwards, under the narrative of empowerment. These games, as well as a new wave of AI companions, try to fill in a need for social connection and community, but without asking anything of us. The more we shift our lives online and expect the same convenience and frictionless interaction from offline encounters, the more frustrated we’re going to get. Until we are unable to handle the messy, physical world we unfortunately (or not!) embody.

If kids grow up with (and adults become used to) the idea that you can just reset the game, change the channel, swipe left or dissociate in the feed if something doesn’t go to plan, dealing with actual humans and real-life situations in comparison is gonna suck big time.

Do we need to practice being human again?

What if someone disagrees, is unkind, offends us or is just plain boring? It seems like we’re struggling with the most basic human skills like decoding social cues in a real-life context. Not that online life is not real, but you will never fully grasp a person without witnessing their body language, tone of voice and overall energy.

The stats about young people and attitudes towards the other sex are especially worrying. Chloe Combi, a Gen Z expert, who spends a lot of time with today’s youth says “we've never seen a time where there was so much suspicion and disharmony between young men and women”. She has observed a ‘voluntary gender apartheid’ where kids avoid the other sex entirely. According to studies, a lot of boys prefer porn to sex now. No need to navigate the tricky territory of consent, less risk of getting hurt or disappointed, and generally hassle-free. I think this is reflective of many other areas of society now where technology is rapidly de-socialising us.

We have become used to the ease and convenience of our digital lives, and we expect the same offline. A slick, transactional, no-strings-attached kind of life, predictable and controllable.

It’s the over-researching of a travel destination, checking out all the best bars and scenic spots before you arrive (I’m very guilty of this and often regret it) rather than just exploring a place or asking a local for recommendations. It’s the last-minute cancelling of plans, the Uber driver or your date because you found a better option. It’s the seemingly never-ending wave of curation. Someone we admire has approved a garment, a song, etc to be culturally acceptable. We no longer need to think about what we actually like. Just follow the edit. In an AI-powered world this gets even worse. It means reverting to the mean. It’s like mixing all the colours to get a muddy greyish brown. Douglas Rushkoff explores the need to protect ‘pockets of weirdness’ in one of his recent posts: “In the sped-up digital media environment, AI produces the average response: the most likely answer, given the entire history of answers out there. It’s the opposite of creativity or improvement.”

Owusu by Amoako Boafo – the artist paints with his fingers to create the texture of skin

The antidote to this can only be radical humanness. A conscious shift away from the filtered, performative and algorithmic.

Seeking out experiences and interactions that feel distinctively different from the ones we have become used to online. Messy, complicated, unexpected, raw, embodied, full of friction and intimate. Maybe even cringe, weird and vulgar sometimes. But flexible, too. Choosing connection over righteousness and focusing on our shared humanity. Not worrying too much about how we come across. Cherishing places where we can break free from the constant surveillance.

So train all those muscles. Practice those skills. Engage in face-to-face, synchronous, embodied interactions that are the building blocks of human connection. I believe this will nourish us and equip us with the energy to deal with the bigger problems so that we no longer need to escape to a cosy (but oh so deprived) life.

In its nuance, texture and depth of colour, the painting above represents an exciting alternative to the smooth blandness of Pantone’s colour of the year. To me, it’s a more human vision and infinitely more beautiful.

Happy New Year. May you feel very alive!